I think by now you all know that I like to do things well. I don’t want to say perfect, because I totally accept that there is no such thing. But I feel like a lot of the time I need to “keep up” with what other moms are doing, otherwise I’m Not.A.Good.Mother.
You know the feeling.
After having D, I changed a lot about our lifestyle, especially our diet. I admit, we ate a lot of processed and convenience foods when I worked full-time, because, well, it was just easier. But when I started feeding my baby while she was still in my belly, I became more aware of garbage in, garbage out.
While being home has allowed me to make some good changes, I know I have a ways to go. I stress about it. The meat I buy isn’t always grass-fed, some fruits and veggies aren’t organic. Oh and we keep Goldfish crackers in the house. But still, we’ve made a lot of good choices too.
Except right now. Being pregnant has thrown those good habits out the window. I want mac ‘n cheese. From the box. The blue box. I want KFC mashed potatoes and gravy and frozen pizzas. I want gummy bears.
I’m tired, I’m nauseated. Nothing sounds good. I lay down a lot which means poor D is propped in front of the tv. I was feeling like I was failing. Until a sweet friend, who shares many of my views, told me to give myself grace during this time. “All bets are off when you’re pregnant,” she said. It was comforting to hear.
Logically I know this. And during a #ppdchat on Twitter yesterday regarding self-care, I realized that giving myself that grace to let some things go right now is self-care. It’s the attitude that says I’m doing the best that I can right now with what I have.
My daughter is still loved, she’s happy. I’m eating what I can and doing what I can to keep everyone healthy. It’s not ideal, but it’s the best I can do for now.
This is self-care and survival mode. This is what we need right now. And I think I’m doing pretty well.
Now where’s that ice cream?