I’ve been thinking a lot about the pressure we put on ourselves, especially as moms. I don’t remember being this hard on myself before I had children, though I did press myself in other areas. But I don’t remember trying this hard to prove myself, to get everything right. I don’t remember all this guilt and feelings of inadequacy.
It seems like as moms we just want to get it all right. I see so many blogs about 101 Ways to Entertain Your 2 Year Old, 10 Things to Tell Your Daughter Today, 50 Foods to Ensure Your Child is a Genius. They’re filled with busy bags, toddler trays, sensory boxes. The guilt I feel about not doing all these things can be overwhelming.
Is my child destined to fail if she’s not constantly entertained by me? If I’m not reading to her all day long or providing stimulating activities? I admit part of the reason I started my little curriculum with Donut was out of intense mom guilt–like I should be doing something more.
And then I look at all the ways we as moms need to keep ourselves happy and whole. Be more creative, they say. Look for gratitude. Spend time on you, eat whole foods, lay aside the guilt, do, do, do, be, be, be. Don’t they know how tired I am? Can’t they see the mounds of laundry and the endless trail of goldfish cracker crumbs under my couch?
And food. Don’t get me started. No processed foods (which I do agree with, but sometimes, it’s all I’ve got time for), make everything from scratch, go paleo, dairy-free, carb-less. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with doing these things, I’m just overwhelmed by it all.
It so often feels like I’m doing way too much, but yet it’s never enough.
There’s too much to keep up with, too many ways to feel like we are cheating our families, our homes, health and happiness. There’s so much advice on how to be happy and raise happy kids. Again, I’m not saying it’s wrong or unhelpful, but sometimes it’s a lot to take in.
And that adds more stress and guilt to how I already feel. It makes me want to lie down on the couch and curl into a ball. Which leads to feelings of being unproductive, lazy…
It’s such a hard place to be. Maybe you’ve found the balance, maybe you’ve learned to shrug off the guilt in certain areas. Perhaps it’s just a matter of knowing what matters and what really shouldn’t and just knowing what does and doesn’t work for our families. Perhaps it’s time for me to just stop wanting to have and do it all.
Linking up with Shell