We drove home on a cold and snowy morning in January, our new bundle wrapped up in her car seat, my heart bundled with worry. How do we take care of her? How will we do this? What now?
Those first days, weeks, months seemed endless. There were tears all around, hers mingled with mine. I wondered how the time would pass, how we’d navigate this hard and foreign road.
One year went by and all of a sudden it was as if we hit the fast forward button. And here we stand at two.
Only such a short time and yet I can’t remember a time that she wasn’t mine and I wasn’t hers.
And I see a beautiful and fun little girl emerging from the red-faced and tightly fisted bundle we brought home from the hospital. But how can I even describe her multi-dimensional personality on one-dimensional paper?
How do I describe the way she loves to dance and sing and includes her baby doll in her dance moves? How do I describe the “You silly, mama’s” and the “I wuv yooooo’s?” Can you see my secret smile when she asks for a hot dog, only so she can dip her fingers in the ketchup and smear it all over her face? Can you hear her stomping all over the house when she gets a new pair of shoes?
Can I tell how proud I am of her when I’ve had strangers tell me how polite and sweet she is? Can I say how happy I am that she enjoys her crafts at Mother’s Day Out and I’ve yet to throw any of them away?
And I can’t even describe how loving she is with her baby doll, or with us. How she asks for hugs and kisses and snuggles all day long. And then there’s her silly side. Oh, how she makes me laugh!
No, I can’t fit it all here. It barely fits in my heart which I’m afraid is going to explode from all I hold in there. But amazingly, my heart swells on a daily basis.
There’s still so much road to travel, so much more to teach her. What will I teach her? Sometimes I just don’t know. I take it one day, one prayer at a time. I read one book at a time, take one walk at time and somehow we stitch our days and our hearts together and we weave our sweet life tapestry.
And I’d like to say that I believe she teaches me so much more than I’ve taught her. She’s made me the mother and woman I am. She’s made me work harder at being a better person, a more patient mother. She makes me feel beautiful.
Happy Birthday to my dear little hope, my wonderful gift. Thank you, baby girl, for the best birthday that I could have as well.